Poem For My Nan..

This is a little something that i wrote for my nan, today is the anniversary of her death, and i always try and write a little something, as it shows that i am thinking of her.
Tonight, i plan to dig out my candles and write her name, or even the letter V ( her name's Violet ) in tealights and then light them when i feel ready to.
I may actually do this outside on the ground..  but would be even cooler if i could do it on the beach like all of the amazing blogs i've read on here..
Still, something i do should and will be a little bit special, even if it isnt the same as everyone else's ideas etc.

15 years has flown by fast
Why didn't the memories of you ever last
I miss you more each day
but I still love you Nan in every way
I still cant believe your gone.
I think of all that you missed out
Unfortunately this is something one can do about
For now I live with you in my head
And dream what could've been in my bed
But I wish I could be with you
I also wish i could bring you back just for the day
Just so i could make new memories come my way
It never gets easier each year passing by
I still question it, I wish I knew why
I really want to hear your voice again

R.I.P Nan, Always in my heart, Gone.. Not Forgotten!!


Today i loose my mind..

And i dont know what to do
to make things better and stop missing you
i hurt so much inside its hard to find the right thing to say
to tell you just how much this hurts me more and more each day
i feel so alone and empty deep inside
i just wanna sit under covers away from the world and hide
i look up to the clouds floating in the sky
wondering what it would be like sitting up so high
today i've lost my mind and i feel like i want to die


Little Angel Unknown

A little angel unknown I, am, my place is as an angel in a secret land.
I didn't have a name as such, you didn't get the chance,
I wasn't meant to live on earth just touch you by the hand.
I've been sent to touch your lives and I know you’ll think that cruel,
but its only special people that are chosen exceptions to the rules.
I knew you would love me from the very start,
from that first sighting & beating of my tiny heart,
so I know that it will hurt you that you have to say goodbye,
but I am your guardian angel now and I'll dry the tears from your eyes.
I'll be there by your side wherever you now go,
I will hear you speak of me often & what I might have been if I'd grown,
I'll be the special angel in the picture that you have,

I'll have your little features all of you as one
& I'll love you always as my special mum.
You might not have got to see me as a living breathing thing,
but I'll be the ribbon around your heart and my love will be deep within,
this pleasure I promise will be mine,
to be your guardian angel from now until the end of time.
I'll gift you with my presence every night within your dreams,
walk always as your special unknown angel
gifted to you within just for a short while,
so think of me often and smile,
For I, am your very own special unknown gifted child.

...this isnt my own but i got sent it when a friend sent it when told about my ectopic pregnancy i had on the 26th feb
gorgeous poem..


Happy New Year

Just a message to wish you a

Happy New Year

Best Wishes From Us For 2010


Striped Socks

I like my knee highed stripey socks
they keep me warm and really rock
they dont really suit me but what can you do
i did have coloured pairs including pink and blue

I wear them pretty much all the time
they really cool and their all mine.


Christmas is not far away
it will be here in a few days
i want it to be over and done with

Christmas is about presents and family coming together
not be on your own and left to suffer
at least it be new year soon, new year, new start!?

Why is christmas always so depressing every year!?
Christmas just hasnt been the same since you've gone
my family is a big old mess.. and i dont know what to do thats best!



sit alone in my room tears welling in my eye
i cant help but feel my life is passing me by
i cry cry and cry some more but nothing seems to work
all i am doing is upsetting myself and driving me bisurk
i dont deserve this life i dont deserve to be me
why cant i just rot alone or walk into the sea
no one sees me hurting or knows what to say
i thought i did myself proud for what i done today
being brave is very hard and not easy to come by
but now all i am doing is questioning myself and cant work out why
for world is just a big scarey place with loads of random people in
i feel like hanging from a tree having my bits dumped or binned
i love my family alot i do to the moon and back
but all i am to everyone is just a bit of slack
i wish i was normal so people may even want me
but no one seems to want me or take me as i be


The Sea

i sit on the prominade and i watch the sea
the waves crashing upon the sand
the sound of the waves and the smell of the sea entice me
i feel like its calling me to join in the fun
to swim and dance with the fish under the sun
i like the idea of the sea being blue
what doesnt make sense is to how the water in my glass is clear

The Fire..

I look into the fire burning away
i sit beside it each and every day
i watch the flames flicker in the air
i cant help but sit watch and stare
the feeling of warmth is hitting my face
thinking of things i feel some embrace
i watch the colours orange and yellow and blue
i feel at one with the fire like me talking to you

If I Was Blind..

if i was blind i would miss the the face i look at before i sleep
but then these are the thoughts, the memories i would keep.
if i was blind i would miss the site of the fire glowing and burning
for missing the site i would end up yearning.
if i was blind i would miss the site of the stars up so very very high
the blackness and the dots of stars and planets up in the sky.
if i was blind i would miss the site of the waves crashing at sea
this memory would be the best one to someone like me.
if i was blind i would miss the site of my family smiling at me
the memories would last but dont know how long for you see?
if i was blind i would miss the television progammes that i like
although there aint much else on to watch on it
if i was blind i would miss the friends that bother with me
the ones that care the ones that worry about me.

If i was blind it would be a big loss, as i would have memories and things to remember for as long as i will live.