why are things difficult...?

why are things so difficult for me to be what i am
for now i seem invisible what happened to little old sam?
things have changed not for good but i guess for the worse
i feel as thought i have been hit with something maybe even a curse?
i am not well and i am not better i just keep going down hill
i am smoking so much more than i used to because it can kill
but i dont know why i try to do it when i scared and dont really want to die
its a stupid thing that is and i keep trying to ask myself why
but never can i find the answer to carry on and be myself anymore
i look and feel as thought i have been battling so many wars
that i just want to give in and let them people win now
i think of what i used to be and what i have become i hope i can go back some how
but for now this needs fixing and sorted so they can go back to what they used to be
i want to fit in i want to be free of this curse that has been placed upon me

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